#2014

At first, I really want to have a throwback post for 2014. but then, I realized that this year is just too terrible to take a look, again. you will never know how much I hate 2014. ok, they say: let it go. and i'm ready for ya, 2015! it will be a better year, no doubt. although there's spm and it is the last year of my high school life, but who cares?

 "All I can say is 2014 is just a mess and full of shit for me. Thank you." 

Intrépide

不相信什么好心有好报

只相信命运 命运决定你的一生

相信缘分相信星座

典型的白羊座 从没怀疑过
虽然有时觉得自己太单纯太冲动

对一个人好只是纯粹想对 ta 好
完全不想看别人脸色
别人也不一定要对回你好

想通了自然好过一点

コピー

Hi, i'm a teenage girl. I have good days and bad days, & sometimes take it out on others; when my ipod is blasting, the rest of the world get tuned outttt. There's a boy that I can't seem to stop thinking about. [he's the reason i look forward to school everyday] 

I can't go one day without saying or doing something silly. I truly don't know what i'd do without my friends. I can be stubborn, bitchy, and a little clueless at times & sometimes, in one day, dozens of things go wrong.

But when I take a step back and look at things clearly, I realize how much I truly appreciate life, with every imperfection. I know that i'm still young, I know I have a lot to learn and experience.

>>>> and, i don't want to grow up too fast.

人生は何ですか

觉得恶心却想不通
因为自己无法为自己做决定
恰好可论世纪笑话

横行霸道的大人
还是觉得很可笑不成熟愚蠢
虽然年纪已乘二乘三

不明白为什么别人能那么单纯地看世界
他们说世界快灭亡了
那是因为他们存在着却拼命冷漠无视

虽然还改变不了世界
但非常厌恶世界天天都在改变我的思想

他们却说
16 岁的青少女不应该想那么多


// I am panic af xx

미소

那一刻 我们都知道自己还爱着

只是后来 我们没有在一起

No matter what people judge about us

Deep inside, there are untold stories

They'll never know till the end of the world

But we know, understand, and accept them as well

Some secrets should be buried

'cause only both of us own them

잘못된 타이밍

这些年来 其实都不缺

只是能不能不要在这个时候出现

其实我承担不起

私は人々を傷つける  //   ごめんなさい

☯

December wish △

Lose weight

(I have gained more than 5kg this year *facepalm*

flat tummy thighs gap come to mama)

Nice haircut

('cause I'm going to have my haircut tomorrow

hope it don't look bad lol)

Visit bookshop

(super 'craving' for novels and books omg
I need more money to buy them *sobs*)

New smartphone

(or I can say my first new smartphone? heh

I want iPhone6 so badly ORZ)

Meet up when the 97's

(especially my girls before they go for PLKN)

Get away from insomnia

(tired of this very much and it is time

to take good care of my health already, I should *sigh*)

Get myself a new hobby

(erm actually I want to learn something new

like dancing or jamming)

 You

(hugs and kisses // happiness)

고백

1. Lazy lass
I don't do house chores (but I wash crockery and swept the floor) HAHAHA mommy hate the most. I'm a science stream student and those subjects kill me. I don't study everyday, but kinda regret 'cause I SHOULD STUDY LIKE A NERD. My grades were like "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down". Every subject is hard and I don't want to study, meh.

2. Coffee lover
I love coffee very much. I drink coffee everyday 'cause I was addicted to it. Not trying to be sarcastic but I really hate Nescafé. Or I mean like 3in1 instant coffee. Eww, that tastes bad. Coffee should taste bittersweet but not sweet, that's a reminder of mine. Yet, I wish to visit café for trying nice coffee. And lastly, Starbucks is LOVE!

3. Bitchy attitude
I hate people very fast, but I un-hate people very fast too. So if you're willing be my listener someday, k, I wish you could remember this. However, I think this attitude has drown me. People will think I'm a double-faced person. Maybe, it's just maybe. I'm a really double-faced person sometimes. But who don't? Orz, it's ok if you hate me, I don't live for you. smile.

4. Angel/devil side
Hehe, I can either be a really good girl or a really bad girl. I help people, and curse people, indeed. Therefore I considered myself as "angel among the devils, devil among the angels". If you treat me good, I'll be good to you (x10). But if you treat me bad, I'll be bad to you (x100). See, I've told you, I might be the one you don't want to know *smirk*.

5. Anti-social
Not really an anti-social but I will choose people to be friend with. I was born with a serious+fierce face and this made others think I'm an arrogant person. I do not be friendly to everyone. I was like.. kinda "picky" to make new friends. Don't you feel guilty if you make friends with people you don't actually like? haha nobody's perfect. Don't lie, there are still people who you hate even though you're popular/kind/friendly. DON'T BE FAKE.

6. Serious buddy
I get serious when it comes to some situations. And at these times,  I hate people who don't realize it or still joking with me. It's okay to joke around whenever you're with me. But, when it comes to serious time, please be serious. There are some jokes that I can't take. This is not like I'm a stingy person. Just don't cross the line. yeah, peace.

7. Overly attached to home
My home is my paradiseeeeeee. Hah, I guess everyone has the same thought. Hard to imagine when someday after my high school graduation, I have to leave Dungun and go for my study, further away. My mom, my dad, my tv, my bed, my pc, my wifi, my food cooked by mom... erm, okay. SOBS. *people always say I think too far 'cause SPM haven't come yet, okay, focus SPM first*

8. Not good in English 
I know there's a lot of grammar errors but I decide to type in English. I can't talk English fluently too. Whatever, at least I tried. It's okay to be the one who want to try but not the loser.

 Hope you guys enjoy reading! xoxo 

愛など

Five years ago, I liked you

When I hear your name, I smiled

Five years later, I love you

When I hear your name, I shed tears

Now I realized what people always say

You're happy when you're liking someone

But you'll never go happy when you're loving someone

생각

有着这种想法其实我不知道是好是坏

当别人不喜欢吸烟的人

我却只不喜欢烟味

当别人讨厌吸毒的人

我却只讨厌为什么毒品会带走生命

当别人觉得纹身的人都是坏人

我却觉得它只是一种艺术 不纹身的也不见得是好人

吸烟吸毒危害生命

但你又怎么想象一个明知道自己会死却还去做的人

这样一来需要多大的胆量多大的决心 

或许他只是想死得早一点

当然 受身边的人影响的 朝着贪玩理念的 统统例外

有些人恨不得想死 因为心脏脑袋承受不了压力

很多人觉得疏解压力不困难

一半是他们很聪明找到对的方法 一半是他们受的压力你想象不到

吸烟吸毒可能只是疏解压力的方法之一

可是人类就是不认同

我只想中立一点

我不反对也不赞同这些疏解压力的方法究竟对或错

我只是没那么讨厌不爱惜生命的人

毕竟自己也没有那么爱惜生命

曾经也是个拼命想死的女生

还好后来有了信念 所以想活下去

ラブレター

总觉得自己生错年代

完全不向往二十一世纪

从小就对自己有了一个要求

这辈子一定要写一封信

一封不浮夸不做作的手写信

给自己很喜欢的男生

不管他有没有看都好

要亲自把信交到他手上

然后笑着转身离开

因为我喜欢以文字来表达爱 

远远比用语言来得朴实

엉망

第一次那么害怕自己

害怕自己以后不知道该往哪条路走

职业测验和星座都是指着指向 ISFP 

艺术家 音乐家 作曲家 设计师

儿童早期发展社会工作者 教师 辅导员

心理学家 兽医 护林员 儿科医生

彷徨着

영원히

觉得自己已经看清了世界

拥有足够的证据证明永远不存在

我知道亲情 友情 爱情

所有情感都会在某一天消失

真的不需要有很强烈的说服力 你我都知道

恐怕是一天的离开 一天的逼迫 一天的背叛

可能只是一句微不足道的我累了

永远要是存在的话 人们也应该长生不老了吧

但是还是会害怕

害怕喜欢你爱你就变成了永远的事

결론

“ 永远不要跨越别人的底线 ”

你听过吗？

不管什么事都好

家人还有他是我的底线

没有人可以跨越这底线 永远没有

确保自己能经得起这种考验才来学去怎么取笑别人

别有事没事都像那神经质一样来嘲笑他人

那一刻的你是最丑的

你所嘲笑的只不过是你没遇过的痛

别人却偏偏遇到了

일단

I just called to say I love you

因为年纪还轻我们注定很多事不能做

也因为年纪还轻我们做了很多不能做的事

偶尔被骂被罚却什么都值得

因为我们比谁都还清楚

我们再也不会比这一刻年轻

年轻真好 以后老了会怎样 没人知道

中学生涯即将过去

也许是对的 高中生涯往往让人无法忘怀

少了幼儿园的单纯

少了小学时期的童真

少了初中年代的叛逆无知

却多了一股一辈子都不会有的热情

高中就是要这样玩

因为你只为你自己活一次

仅仅这么一次

Nolite

相爱着却分开着

很多事不是你我可以预料到

但谁又想这种事发生在你我之间

不要在别人伤口上洒盐

自己的快乐也不要建筑在别人的痛苦上

一个人无心的笑声总变成另一个人无声的悲痛

看不清的未来往往让人感到无助

看清了的承诺也往往是破碎的

放空

喜欢一家人的感觉

喜欢那种很融洽很和平很有爱

心中有苦涩谁知道

离开这里

然后去哪里 不知道

所以就不离开了

还好自己够倔强够坚强

还好是典型白羊座

还好敢爱敢坚持敢闯出去

可是还是想参加生活营

认识一些很棒的人

至少日子不会那么无聊颓废放空

Broke .

turn my head off

and I saw the broken friendship & relationship

why you didn't keep the promises, or me

never think that this will happen to me

between I didn't feel regret but just a bit sad

the past is ugly ; my past is horrible

that's why I appreciate everything I have right now

to make sure this sadness won't occur again

in future

Quote .

时间的齿轮从未停止过、它用一种最冷酷、理智的方法、让每个生命得以平行前进

—— 林萧 // 小时代 3 : 刺金时代

愛

“ 有我在就什么都不怕 ok ? ”

有些人 有些话 不必多说

懂得人自然明白

♥ 

Sucks .

"Don't you think you're just too annoying?"

"I'd admit. I was born to be like that."

"You just freaking jealous about every tiny things."

"Ops. Did you ever see a girl who can tolerate with everything?"

"Don't you think you're just too greedy?"

"Ya, but I used to be because I care about everything."

"Don't you think people will get tired of you?"

"Obviously they will. I'm too emotional and I have a really bad temper." 

"Don't you think you will be hated by others?"

"I'm afraid of that too. But how can I do. I even can't control myself.

 Bitch is born to be bitchy all the way"

-so this is the conversation between my brain and heart, and it repeats everyday.

I'm just sixteen, I'm just a girl.

live in an atmosphere which full of stress and blame.

you can say I think too much.

but I know all the stories in the deepest place of my heart.-

16th birthday .

Although my birthday was on 22nd March, but it's never too late to blog about :)

I bet this is the awesome-st birthday I never had!

Pretty thank for the love one who planned birthday surprise for me, really touching xoxo 

The first time people sang birthday song for me, plus it was in the school, much appreciate

Too bad I didn't get chance to take photo with my birthday cake lol

By the way it's tasty too haha, someone buy me that cake again? *justkidding*

That celebration was on Thursday (20th March), school held event about 2013 SPM results

Maybe it's a chance? I don't know but I never thought it will happen
Hey dear, your plan was successful though (Y) :*

Since the photo was captured by a noob photographer, I really got no comment on it -.-

But still, thank for my seniors ;)

Last but not least, thank for my boubui friends for those lovely presents and wishes 

It was an unforgettable birthday, love you guys! <33

13 .

如果马来西亚一年有四季

你已经陪我走完了四季

一年又一个月 三百九十六天 

还是一样爱你爱着你

You .

我见过最坚强的暧昧

我很想说我没有感动到

可是我确实被他们打动了

每个星期都有留短讯

每个星期都有思念

就算很辛苦也很甜蜜

你能不能陪我去我想去的地方、因为每一个想去的地方我都想要你在身边

55 facts of YuQiann .

1. My name is Tan Yu Qian and the pronunciation is Tan Yu Cian not Tan U Kuen or Tan U Kian , 陈羽芊 is my chinese name
2. My friends call me Ah Tan but I seriously hate it arghh
3. 98's batch
4. My first cry was on 22nd March
5. A typical Aries
6. Not single but taken
7. 164cm and 50-55kg
8. I have no religion but I wrote it that I'm Buddha everytime
9. Fav colour is blue , mint , pink and black&white for sure
10. An iPhone4 user but it's second-handed

11. Bad tempered and always hurt those people who I love
12. Tried to control myself but failed everytime
13. I don't really consider that I'm a pretty girl
14. I love my height but I hate my fat legs *CRIES*
15. I don't think spectacles and sunglasses are cool so I try hard to avoid from wearing them
16. I love 97's batch girls and we are bestie too <3
17. I don't have a best male friend because I think there is no real friendship between a boy and a girl , however I got a lot of male friends
18. I started to category my friends , there's best friends , friends , and strangers
19. I love dresses but I only got 1 dress since my mother said I don't often wear dress
20. I CAN ALWAYS EAT MORE THAN YOU IMAGINE

21. Have my first crush when I was 13 years old
22. Too lucky to have this boyfie , he's caring just like my mother *NGAHHEGONNAKILLME
23. Love music even though I can't play any music instruments but trust me I gonna play guitar someday
24. Floral , infinity symbol and moustache are too mainstream but I don't know why I like them so much
25. CHOCOLATE is my all time favourite especially Toblerone dark chocolate !
26. Starbucks coffee is love too <33
27. I prefer laugh hard than smile like a lady but I will smile like a idiot whenever I'm with him
28. EXO is my current bias in Kpop
29. Muscular man is too terrible for me but boy with abs is hot *NOSEBLEED*
30. XOXO I CAN'T CHOOSE TEEHEE

31. A random stalker but not a professional stalker
32. Talk really loud until my friends complaint of me
33. Hate that kind of boy who has girlfriend but flirt other girls
34. Hate that kind of girl who being over-bitchy
35. I stalk pretty girls but not handsome guys so DON'T YOU WORRY DAR
36. Love surprise
37. I get cold easily so I love warm hugs
38. I wish to have a shoulder to lay on whenever I get sleepy
39. I don't really like dramas and novels because the storyline is just too funny sometimes
40. Love photographs and selfie

41. Trying to be elegance but not pretty
42. Sleep is my all time favourite hahahaha
43. Say no to sport forever I'm sorry
44. Say no to house chores because my nose is allergic to dust *HELLOWHODON'T?*
45. Say no to act cute , that's not my style
46. I'm good at cooking spaghetti and instead noodles
47. I don't know how to cook porridge until he taught me *AWKWARDTOTHEMAX*
48. I think that taking photos while crying and upload it on social network is the funniest "sad case"
49. I call those people I hate "bitch" and I'm sorry about that
50. Honestly I think that couple cuddling in bed not sex please is the most romantic thing

51. My family is not rich but I think at least it is a happy family , we are like friends sometimes
52. I cannot imagine how is my life next year . A year without those girls and him but with SPM :(
53. I love schools but I only hate homework and examssssss
54. Fav food - cheese baked rice recipe , tomyam , curry , sushi and beef and more
55. Fav drink - ribena , sprite , honey lemon and ribena soda

My turn to cry .

细菌感染的被子 x 海风陪伴的早晨

该来的总会来

只是因为自己的固执

因为想得到更多记忆所以必须付出代价
可惜代价最终还是代价
不可能会有完美的结局
跟命运谈什么倔强
还不到七天就落败了

D-10 .

看着身边的人来来往往 开始为自己感到欣慰

至少我是幸福

至少你一直都在我身边

一直都在陪伴我包容我原谅我

庆幸的是 你不是人类 而是天使


CAUSE YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING ♡